Those Fireworks in Your Head? Not a Problem
Somewhere in this process, you will come face to face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barreling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless. No problem. You are not crazier than you were yesterday. It has always been this way, and you just never noticed. You also are no crazier than anybody else around you. The real difference is that you have confronted the situation; they have not. So they still feel relatively comfortable. That does not mean that they are better off. Ignorance may be bliss, but it does not lead to Liberation. So don’t let this realization unsettle you. It is a milestone actually, a sign of real progress. The very fact that you have looked at the problem straight in the eye means that you are on your way up and out of it.
-Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English
What follows only stands a chance of being comprehended if both posts are read first (without necessarily reading the pages of comments). Please do note that my analysis is not complete, nor was it elaborately pondered, reconstructed and edited. I am merely attempting to give my take and perhaps raise further questions in the short time I have. In terms of an ongoing dialog, therefore, I must concede that my time to devote to this is limited, so I am making no promises. Onward...
Julian wrote: "I wonder too if in buying into these sorts of fallacies we ignore the possibility that much of what has been called religion can be understoood as a kind of psychological defense mechanism and that contemporary spirituality might be transcending precisely that defense in the name of a more integrated and honest adult practice-based methodology."
What seems to be missing from this cerebral argument is the acknowledgement that the genealogies and anthropologies of humanity have repeatedly demonstrated that we create mythologies that both give us a context for our lives and encourage the hero's journey. So, while Julian would like for us to give up words like God and "transcend" our discredited mythologies, he does not demonstrate an understanding that we seem to need mythologies nor that his argument itself is based on a newly emergent mythology. That emerging mythologies are integral or synthetic does not mean that they represent a truth that is lasting; they transcend and include - by their very definition - all previous known mythologies that themselves were the closest representation of truth in their own times, and they will themselves be transcended by the mythologies of the future.
What continually amazes me about arguments such as the one presented by Julian is that the perspective seems to transcend and reject rather than transcend and include.
Near the end of Julian's argument, he poses the following: But I can't help but wonder why we need to tie these kinds of intellectual/spiritual riffs to an invisible mythic god? Which perhaps raises the question: Is there an invisible god that is not mythic?
I do not think that those who have developed integral insight continue to use the word God in an attempt to make ties with an invisible mythic god. When we retain the use of the word God, we retain the ability to meet people where they are at and to talk to them from a shared We space. We risk alienation and further entrenchment of Amber belief systems by rejecting the word God, which has already been sufficiently accomplished by intolerant application of Enlightenment ideals, rampant materialism and New Age narcissism.
Furthermore, what I do not see conveyed in Julian's argument is the recognition of I-Thou phenomenological realities. Wilber's writings, and my own experience, suggest that this underlying and fundamental phenomenology - a felt sense of a personal relationship with our source - transcends belief systems and constructs. We DO all come from the same source, after all, and the experience of communion with that source (i.e. a transcendent state), and the ecstasy, love and healing that may arise within that context, offers us a shared ground from which we can establish communication, despite the fact that we apply divergent constructs based on our level of development to explain such experiences. It seems to me that it is this profound I-Thou relationship that Wilber, Brother David Steindl-Rast and increasing numbers of religiously progressive people are attempting to recognize and encourage in us, not the mythology that is used to explain it. So when Julian asks (in the comment section), why use the word if it's overwhelmingly common usage means something else altogether and we can use other words with more precision and evocative power?, I challenge one of his underlying assumptions: that the overwhelming majority of religious believers in the U.S. today (I can't speak for the rest of the world) are literalist believers that all hold identical ideologies. I used to think that, but recent evidence suggests otherwise. Wilber suggests that a mere 25% of the population is expressing Amber-level belief systems. Regardless of the percentages of people at different stages on the spiral, it is an undeniable fact that the word God is entrenched in the worldspace at this time, and it seems obvious to me that continuing the usage of the word is unavoidable and, perhaps, advantageous. Precisely because it is entrenched, we can use it as a tool to begin new conversations that encourage further development.
Julian also seems to want to root out every last superstition and pre-rational idea because, gosh darn it, those pesky little remnants of our shared history prevent us from being fully integrated and integral adults. But is this true? Or is it more likely that moving into hyper-rational (rather than trans-rational) modes of being-in-the-world and denying our sometimes superstitious nature is an act of violence against ourselves and our history which prevents the actual emergence of the stage that he exalts? When we fool ourselves into thinking that rooting out words like God will somehow deliver us from our bloody past, and that all pre-integral belief systems are "delusional," we risk cutting ourselves off from true integral which hosts an understanding of the rightness of such belief systems within the context of the spiral of development. (Besides, humanity can be xenophobic and violent all by itself without the props of religion.)
Instead of rejecting our previous ways of being-in-the-world, which included superstition and Amber-level mythologies, as integrally-minded people we start to look at how myth-making is inherent to the human condition. We start to look at patterns instead of just content. Because if we are really honest, we know that we still create mythologies and belief systems for the purpose of relating to ourselves, each other and the world. We have seen science elevated to the level of religion and mythologies imbedded within that context abound. Many believe we can cure human disease and that doing so will create more happiness or at least less suffering. We are starting to believe that we can act quickly to repair the Earth, prevent ecological crises and save humanity from itself.
What I find troubling, though, is that hyper-rationalists seem to focus only on religious horror stories and fail to recognize - with more than a quick glossing over before returning to the main argument - all of the good that results from religious beliefs and ideals. My German Lutheran mother is a fantastic example here. She is an active member of her church where she volunteers time to help others and shares compassion in a community of peers. She never uses her faith to attack others, and I believe this is true for all but the most pathological (and loudest in the public sphere) believers. Many church members deliver food to sick or grieving families and offer genuinely felt prayers on their behalf, which is itself an expression of love. I could go on with multitudinous examples, but I think you get the point. To reduce religion to superstition and tie it only to the shadow side of humanity is to do violence to the billions of people who do their best to live by high religious ideals while operating in a world that went mad a long time ago. And when we do that, we have what translates to a life-and-death fight on our hands, as is so prevalent right now in the multi-tiered clashes between religion and science.
I have gone through many cycles of rejecting concepts that I previously held as Truth, as well as rejecting people who still hold such beliefs. At this point, the road that lies ahead involves synthesizing instead of rejecting. My vision of humanity is held with an ever-expanding understanding of our history and the patterns that are encoded in the very fabric of our being. And that comes with tremendous respect for our past and compassion for us all as we struggle to survive and thrive in an ever-changing, evolving and chaotic world that is nonetheless miraculous and precious just as it is.
The dynamic tension between self-acceptance and self-advancement or -improvement can be experienced alternately as a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because, without it, the evolution of consciousness would stall as we rested in the secure feeling of being content with the world as it is, including the separate sense self that arises within it. When we surrender to the spiral of actualization, this contentedness is periodically driven away by the striving to expand. This striving is often felt as a tension that pushes the self to move beyond current perceived limitations. Ideally, this tension is held lightly as we both accept our current being as stage-appropriate and allow the desire to grow to emerge unhindered. Sometimes - when the energy of Eros pushes to the pendulous extreme - we temporarily lose our footing and it seems like a curse. Because in those moments, we are not good enough, not whole enough, and feelings of disappointment and anguish tighten like a noose around our necks. Thankfully, the process of unfolding cycles between the extremes.
Today, the self-imposed noose is loose. The low-level anguish is less present.
I had a breakthrough in therapy yesterday that built on the growing awareness over the last couple of months that this striving - this not-enough - has been dominating my world. Not only have I been struggling to integrate all that I have learned in the last two and a half years, a profoundly shifting physicality - a healing of trauma and emergence of a more healthy gross form - has garnered most of my attention, and rightly so. Nonetheless, a desire to learn more, know more, write more and DO more has been my constant companion. And I fall short of the ideal that has infected my consciousness. When I moved beyond the worldviews of my primary group of peers - most of those who I see face-to-face in my life right now - and into a new peer group that I engage with primarily online, it became all too easy to project greatness onto people when the only exposure has been via polished web-based publication. I moved from a world in which I felt intelligent and together into one in which inadequacy was fueled by the feeling that I MUST learn more so that I can contribute to the conversations that I simply witness at this point. Conversations that are pushing the boundaries of consciousness and draw me in with a fierceness and passion that make all previous passions pale in comparison.
I am remembering (or truly learning and experiencing?) that the cyclic emergence of a seemingly safe haven is necessary for the sustenance of the self and the incorporation of newer (higher) levels of understanding. Periods of resting in the gloriousness of who we are today strengthens our resolve and banks energy for the next level of the developmental spiral that ascends towards our ever-evolving highest potentials (dynamic emergence rather than destiny).
This morning - while engaged in the creatureliness of shitting - I read something that resonated so strongly that it brought me to this blog post. I wanted to share this experience because I know enough now to realize that if all of this is arising in my world, it is arising in the world of US. Someone else is experiencing similar phenomena right now. Or will be experiencing it soon. And you never know when you'll read something that catalyzes a shift.
So, from the July 2008 issue of Shambala Sun, I give you this passage, excerpted from the article Raja Hatha: Yoga's Path to Liberation by Chip Hartranft:
"If meditation is to move from doing to being, the other intention one must keep in mind is softening. Again and again, the yogi unclenches, relaxes his psychosomatic grip on the moment, and allows events to be just as they are. Success is proportionate to one's willingness to let each new impulse to control or improve simply appear, bloom, and fade. As a result, it becomes ever clearer that each bodily contraction was conditioned by a mental contraction, arising from desire, aversion, or simply holding a self-image in mind" (p 49; emphasis mine).
"The yogi realizes how much of mental life has been engaged in reconnoitering for stimulation and gratification, and how attaining them never produces anything like lasting happiness. This perceptual re-education, called vairagya, or "non-reacting," involves entrusting oneself to one new experience after another. As each fresh agitation or stab of resistance is recognized and permitted to settle, one unexpectedly notices that familiar triggers of disturbance no longer have any effect. A profound equanimity has quietly developed" (p 50).
I want to elaborate on this a bit, though. As this new way of being-in-the-world starts to emerge, awareness flits in and out of consciousness. A complicated set of circumstances are present in each moment; sometimes we notice that familiar triggers are not having the same effect, and sometimes we realize after the fact that we were completely consumed by patterned existence - triggers hook you and you are back to being-of-the-world (trying out concepts coined by Sartre).
But I want to end with a focus on softening: Let's do our best, as the dynamic between acceptance and emergence oscillates, to remind ourselves that we are exactly as we need to be in this moment. Stop, breathe, rest.
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