After I got home from the satsang yesterday (see below), I grabbed a snack and turned on the television.  I flipped around past various putrid offerings and discovered The Matrix.  The part that really struck me was the line that the bald guy said to Neo after he tried to jump to the other building and fell that went something like: "sometimes you wish you took the blue pill instead."  I definitely got the red pill a few months ago.  And, yes, there are darker times when I wish I took the blue pill instead.  Those are short-lived, though, as I realize that the red pill allows you to be awake and fully alive.